So, tomorrow is Saturday. I don’t have to be anywhere.
Oh, glory days…
…and let’s not mention that is the last time it will happen until… Thanksgiving? Hmm that’s sad.
Anyway. I am looking forward to sleeping in SO MUCH that I may be too excited to sleep. Yay! The best problem I’ve had in months!!!!!!!!!
That is all.
PS: Boo liberal media!!! Free speech gets stale when you make it hearsay and slander. Here’s a thought – be honest! I know, I’m crazy.
So, every time I look back at my blogging/photos from any travel I have done, I get jealous.
Of myself.
From the internet.
Even sadder, I got really pouty-jealous over a webcomic in which the main character got to quit his job.
Well not really jealous. More like, “Wow, even cartoons can do this.” I did receive good (I think) health-situation news this week, which was just barely enough to balance the extra hours at work during an extra-stressful week, creating political materials (which rates pretty high on my “This is Not Morally Right and Therefore Makes Me Emotionally and Physically Ill” scale).
YES I know I know, “it could be worse.”
YES I know I know, “it will get better,” and “[my] time will come.”
YES. Really. I KNOW.
You know what else? Every time now that I hear comments like that, and even from friends trying to extend sympathy (which, by the way, just makes it feel like I’m complaining, which in turn makes me feel worse), for nearly TWO YEARS now, it just seems to me that not only have I [seemingly unknowingly, innocently] plowed a path of destruction in my own life, I’m starting to drag down the bystanders.
Please, by all means, step back from the rubble. This is a pretty deep hole. Just let time pass and do not comment. Thank you for your sympathy, keep your pity, I’ll be fine. And I apologize that a lot of the time, I honestly do not have any good news to share. We all know time passing is inevitable, albeit so incredibly slowly for me now that my learned concept of the feeling (although not visual 2 and 3D representations) of time is shattered.
Not that I’m not all about change (no this is not a political endorsement). I have been waiting for a positive change for the two darkest roller coaster years of my life. So when my change (for the better) comes I fully intend to walk with it into the sunset (no this is not a cheesy love story innuendo b/c this change does not include any of that).
(I know this is late but, here’s the account of the drive back on last Sunday..)
Wow, we thought it took a while to get IN to Canada? We sat in traffic for an hour and a half to get back in. I had to remove my sunglasses, state ownership of the car, spout off the license plate, say where I met Tracy, where I lived and why I’d left the US.
Then they casually searched the trunk. While our inspection dude says a few times into his walkie talkie, “They aren’t in my lane.”
Whaaa??
So, that was boring and gas-consuming but still worth it for Canada good times. We were glad to see “miles” and not “km,” I will admit.
We zip back across then down through Western New York, and cross into PA. As a safety, we stop for a bathroom visit about 45 min from my place. Here I discover I need to ask my friend to “spare a square.”
And then she found five dollars.
Sorry, I lie. She found FIFTY DOLLARS.
YES, FIFTY.
IN A MCDONALD’S BATHROOM. IN A NORTHERN PA NOWHERE-TOWN.
“What do we do with it?” I asked.
“Well, we both have $25, or we’re good people and take it to the counter.” Says Schoolhouse Rock T.
“Counter obviously. But will anyone come get it?”
So, we took it to the counter, and the people there just looked blank. I guess this doesn’t happen much anymore? We both had the sad feeling that someone ended up pocketing it. I should have said “put this in your kid’s fund collection if no one gets it in 2 days.”
This could have easily re-spurred the rant we had on bad parents (not ours) we had not too long before. Rather, T says “WHY are we such freaking good people?!” I reply “Darn our good parents!”
I wonder if there’s a way to measure the “goodness” of humanity compared to like, 50 years ago. Honesty Index? Things always SEEM honkey-dorey in the 50s. Just throwing it out there… I wonder if it has to do with the shrinking of churches and the rise of materialism.
Anyway, thus sadly ended the life crisis mini-road trip.
Buffalo and Canada, that is. Today I left at 6:30am with Tracy and drove through the…. nothing that is northern PA and western NY on our way to the SUNY at Buffalo North Campus. We snuck into the undergrad open house, bogarted a tour of the art building, then I met up with the faculty member that I had emailed back and forth a few times. We ended up talking for about an hour about every facet of the graduate program, and I left more excited to try to get it – and just as anxious about my portfolio.
So many things she said stuck out to me – “we don’t teach people to be part of the system,” “no one wants to ‘work for the man,’” “we look for free thinkers,” before we even really talked about the art part of it. In reality… the art is only about half of this decision. They want people who are dedicated to a cause and just happen to use some form of visual art to make an impact on that cause. So nice. Screw “the man” and “the system”… they may have ruined my health right now but they haven’t broken me yet.
After that we ventured downtown for some lunch and pants changing in the bathroom. From there we tried to find a gallery, but seriously the address does not exist. Since we were down there I thought I’d add some roadtrip-style fun, and just started driving toward the waterfront, not really paying attention to street names. Because, I like random and water.
After our downtown exploration, we headed out to the Albright-Knox Gallery, which had an incredibly good selection – we started with an exhibit on op art, then when we were dizzy enough we moved on to a paper-based show, then their standard works. On our way out, we hit their motherlode – Picaso, Renoir, Cezanne, Monet, Dalí, Gaugin, Warhol, O’Keefe, and probably some more we can’t name again b/c we’re beat. We were supposed to have to pay $5 to park, and give the machine our ticket on the way out. So I put the ticket in and the bar came up already, and the machine didn’t say anything else. Tracy yells “DRIVE DRIVE DRIVE!!!!!!!!” So, I did.
And now, on to Canada, The Great Can! Only mild road confusion occurs, but we use a map old school and figure out that we’re ok anyway. Pretty smooth sailling until we sit in traffic for … … … I dunno somewhere between 30 ad 60 minutes to cross the border. We handed over our passports, answered the Border Dude’s questions… but here’s how I would have liked to answer some of them:
“Where are you coming from?” YOUR MOM – I’m your long lost sister!!!
“How much money are you coming in with?” In bills or crack? OR Not as much as I plan to leave with.
“Are you bringing anything with you other than clothing?” We were TOLD to dispose of this body in the Canadian falls specifically… but… nope!
“Do you have any firearms?” (raise fists and flex) Just these.
“How long are you staying here?” How long does it take to get on your healthcare plan and get some cheap drugs?
So, here we go, in Canada, and 6 seconds later we see a speed limit sign saying “40 km/ph.” I’m trying to figure out the little numbers on my gauge while frantically telling Tracy to convert to metic in her head. It’s about 25 mph by the way. We have also realized that our directions switch to km from here on out so… this will be interesting. Also, their traffic signs are delightful! Some have checkered borders. But our favorite is this one, on the bridge near the official border.
Congratulations, Canada. You have a sign for OMG HAVE FUN IN THE CLUSTERF**K AHEAD!
Although… actually I think it means, it may be slippery here if the mist from the falls is blowing over the bridge. Or snow. I hear they have that in this area as well.
Find and check into hotel: check.
Get overwhelmed by restaurant choices: check.
Decide we’re tired, I want a salad, and pick Applebee’s: check.
The desk lady at the hotel even printed out Google Map directions for us! And we ended up scoring free parking, since Applebee’s doesn’t care when it’s not the tourist season. And we got super fast service. I mean, we both had our meals in less than 10 minutes (and they were excellent). Now… off to see the falls lit up at night!
We have a local point out where we can see both falls, just a couple blocks from our restaurant. Walking, we realize that the falling mist is actually from the falls – and we’re at least a quarter mile and uphill from them. Amazing. It’s dry, you walk 50 feet, and it’s misting, keep walking, it’s like a light rain, then you’ll walk out of it again. It’s too late to take the elevator deal down to the ground level, so we set out walking.
After several minutes, we realize it’s extremely cold and late but we want to be closer, so back to the car! Tracy Q. Navigator points out the way, and we’re down on the last road next to the falls. Parking $20? Are you kidding? U turn! Here’s a lot with the bars raised… is there anyone in that booth? I can’t tell. It says buses only.. but it’s late… is anyone here? Creep… creep… look… creep… GAS! Someone even followed us in. Jump out of car, quick walk to falls. WOW you can get SO close here. The Canadian side is definitely better than the American side. We’re just FEET from the edge!!!
(Foreground: abyss of Canadian falls and resulting mist; background, the American falls)
As we go, the mist turns into a super heavy mist, then nearly a pouring rain. We’re soaked on our entire front sides and very glad we both brought water-resistant winter coats. But this is so worth it. Finally we decide it’s high time we turn back, and proceed to get soaked on our entire rear side. But so worth it. Also cold, soaked jeans make you freeze really fast even though it’s still in the 40s. Good thing I have a blanket we can sit on in the car too!
Back to hotel, peel off wetness! Thus pretty much ends our day, more or less. We’re pretty boring after that.
If there are return trip exciting events, I’ll let you know when we’re back in the good ol’ US of A.
And, since you read this, or just scrolled down… see the the photo gallery – click here!
Not a whole lot of news. Health and mindset continue to be marginal, every promising event is surrounded by a rejection or closed door of some sort. Saw a doctor and had some blood taken; waiting on those results. Waiting on a new job, community service assignment, or school decision… first taker will probably get me in this situation. Limbo… pergatory?… continues!
And here’s a little bonus for you:
Why is there no space between “fine” and “broken-hearted”? I vote for a “dented-hearted” or an “assaulted-hearted” state.
Silence can be great. It can also be the worst, and it can even judge.
When I actually see or experience a person NOT being self-centered I hardly know how to react anymore.
Maybe we are finally seeing the world, or at least our country, being eaten by their own greed. Want, want, want. Everything is taken for granted. Here’s a thought: Don’t have the money? Don’t buy it. It’s just stuff, and you’re taking life for granted. I saw a comedian commenting on this today – the shallowness. His example was air travel, and people complaining about 45 minute delays. You’re IN A PLANE. NY to LA in 5 hrs. That used to take 30 years (insert Oregon Trail reference, anyone?). Shut down your cell phones, laptops, and mouths and think about that for a second.
We should be looking for real human contact, not people via cell phones and keyboards. If you don’t draw a line between technology and REAL LIFE it will cease to be useful and become a MONSTER.
Time does not wait.
